Librarywala.com Interviews: Stephen Gallup, Author of 'What About the Boy?"

Hey there, Librarywalas!

A few weeks ago, we had posted an introduction(First Look) to Stephen Gallup’s much awaited memoir “What About the Boy?” A story of undying devotion to his developmentally challenged son, the book promises to take readers on an emotional roller-coaster like none other. We got chatting with the author, and asked him some pertinent questions about his book.

1.   “I had no reason to be over-optimistic,

But somehow in his smile I could brave bad weather.

What about the boy?

What about the boy?

What about the boy, he saw it all!”

…So goes the chorus of the Tommy soundtrack by The Who.  How did you identify with these specific lyrics when you chose the title of the book?

You are quite right about the source of the title. Like my book, Tommy happens to be about a disabled kid. Another similarity is that, in the rock opera, the boy Tommy inspires a messianic movement, and there are points in our story at which the search for a response to Joseph’s condition leads his mother and me into cult-like situations.

But the reason for the title What About the Boy? is not complicated. The adults have their own agendas. Early in my story, the doctors suggest counseling for Joseph’s mother and me, rather than exerting themselves to understand his problem. We, his parents, are not immune to being side-tracked into battles that don’t have a direct bearing on the problem. “What about the boy?” means just what it says: How much of all this adult activity really pertains to what the child needs?

2.       Tell us a little bit about the book. What should readers expect from it?

Ultimately, this is a true story about people who faced an uphill battle in the absence of dependable guideposts and forged ahead only on the basis of what felt right. Readers with an interest in children will likely be affected more strongly than others. Some parents have told me this story made them want to hug their kids.

3.       Why did you feel the need to document your life and your son’s story? How long did you take to write the book? Was it difficult?

At first, the writing was simply an effort to make sense of it all. And it became an emotional outlet. In those days, I never imagined that any of it would be published.

Writing about this ended up consuming most of my creative energies for a period of at least two decades. That’s not to say I worked on it all that time. Many times I put it aside for a year or more, and just pondered it. Each time I picked it up again, I had new thoughts and a more refined concept of what the story was all about. Making sense of the experience has certainly been difficult for me, but it has led me to an understanding I otherwise never would have had, and hopefully to transform the specifics of our story into something everyone can recognize.

“Is it possible to push a kid too hard? Absolutely! Pushing is the opposite extreme of complacency, and both are wrong. It’s especially wrong if the child perceives that becoming ‘perfect’ is his or her only hope of winning the parents’ acceptance.”

4.       You have tremendously gone out of the way to better your son’s life, even opting for highly unconventional, scientifically unproven methods, which have been met with resistance in some circles. What would you like to say to these skeptics?

My essential message to skeptics is this: When families come to professionals with a little child who has obvious problems, they expect those problems to be taken seriously. If they perceive that the doctor’s office amounts to a revolving door that dumps them back outside, with nothing having been accomplished, you shouldn’t be surprised when they go elsewhere. In this book, I am not arguing in favor of any specific alternative treatment. I’m only saying that doing nothing is no option. You don’t approve of what we did? That’s fine. What do you think would have been better, and why is it not being offered?

5.       You say that “wellness and potential are every child’s birthright. And I’m quite sure society is served when children have it.” Please elaborate.

The first part of that statement is simply an article of faith. I cannot prove it to be true, but I doubt there will be much debate. As people live and make choices, and mistakes, we naturally find that our future options in life become more limited as a result. But little kids have done nothing to limit their options! I believe each kid deserves a chance to step into life and do his best.

And there really should be no argument with regard to the effect on society when this happens. Look at it from the point of view of a taxpayer. With regard to a stranger’s child, born on the other side of the city, which would you prefer? Someone who remained helpless and dependent on the world for everything, throughout his life? Or someone able to grow and take a productive role in the world—and who knows, maybe even one day solve a problem for you?

6.       What is your opinion of the Librarywala service in India, and the blog?

Since our earlier contact, I have spent some time browsing around the Librarywala blog and I like it very much. The site seems to include a nice balance of types of books, fiction as well as nonfiction and also both new releases and classics. We mustn't forget the classics! I regret that I know little about the cultural life in India, but I believe you are filling a very important role….

Mr. Gallup’s story is one of courage, love and an undying belief that a silver lining does exist. In a heart-wrenching story where all hope for a better future may have been decimated, the father’s pledge to his son depicts that no one is immune to the sunshine effects of hope. In this day and age of sky-high parental expectations, the book teaches us that one must not forget to let children be children, and to fill their lives with affection over expectation.

Do write in with your opinions.

Till then,

Happy Reading! 

First Look of "What About the Boy?" by Stephen Gallup

At Librarywala, we make an effort to connect with readers and writers the world over in search of stories that are heartwarming and beautiful. It was an absolute pleasure to stumble upon the story Stephen Gallup has to share with the world in his poignant parental memoir "What About the Boy?" due to release in September this year. A story of undying devotion to his developmentally challenged son, it promises to take readers on an emotional roller-coaster like none other. It is a story of courage, love and belief that a silver lining does exist. 

Here's a little bio on this wonderful father Stephen Gallup.

Stephen Gallup grew up in North Carolina and Virginia. He studied at NC State University, earning a bachelor's degree in the life sciences, and then at the University of Virginia, where he received a master’s in English.

Beginning in 1977, he worked in various roles in technical communication in the aerospace and wireless telecommunications industries, with projects ranging from proposals for satellite launches and feasibility studies of space missions, to user guides for trendy new cell phones. In the early years, he wrote occasional short fiction on the side, and features for newspapers.

Gallup’s life changed dramatically with the birth of his son Joseph in 1985. Upon learning that there was a problem, he applied his energies to a pursuit of answers that he felt certain must exist. After a year of consulting with physicians to no effect, he located other resources. For the next four years, he and his wife Judy implemented an intensive two-pronged treatment campaign that resulted in dramatic improvements in Joseph’s condition.

His memoir What About the Boy? shows what the family did, and what happened next.

Here is an unpublished piece about his upcoming memoir, 'What About the Boy?' due to hit stores in September this year.

What would you do if you had a new baby who cried, not just sometimes but all the time? And what would you do if several months passed and your baby was not making any developmental progress?

Of course, you would take your baby to the doctor. But what would you do if, instead of offering treatment, the doctor simply told you to be less anxious? Time passes, and your baby is already one year old. The way he cries, and thrashes about, and vomits, you know he’s in distress. And he still cannot crawl or even sit up by himself.

Finally, without ever diagnosing your baby’s problem, the doctors tell you that you need counseling. They see a problem in you. You need to change your focus. The baby? Well, there’s not much to be done about the baby.

There is a choice to be made at such times. Yes, we must rely on specialists who surely know more than we do about such things, but if the specialists do not even try to help—what then?

What About the Boy? A Father’s Pledge to His Disabled Son is a memoir written by the father of such a child. Stephen Gallup and his wife Judy were a young couple who had recently moved to California, thousands of miles from their families and friends. When the doctors let them down, they had no support other than their own sense of what was right.

They knew their son Joseph depended on them to overcome whatever it was that bothered him, and they knew that, ultimately,  trying to find real help for him was their responsibility.

The memoir follows their reluctant first steps into the realm of alternative medicine. Some of the providers they find do not inspire confidence, but others personify common sense. What is more important is that, under a new regimen, Joseph finally attains peace within himself and begins the slow process of developing new skills. Such as crawling. And walking.

In the interests of disclosure, the victories this family achieves do not come without a heavy price, nor are they as complete and final as one might wish. Joseph’s path to wellness goes only so far.

Given that, let’s return to the question with which we began. Should the family have accepted the advice of authorities, or should they have dedicated their lives to an uphill battle that had no guarantee of success?

The book promises to be a compelling and honest read, offering a remarkable view of families who have to deal with similar situations in their lives. We champion the author's cause and hope this book is a grand success.

Do share your opinions with us. You may also connect with the author on his blog http://fatherspledge.com/.